Tag Archives: Family

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Sometimes We Have to Let Go

I’ve always been pegged as a serious person by my family.  They had nicknames for me — ‘Queen Katrina’ and my fav — ‘Doom and Gloom’.  I am aware that I can be very intense and analytical at times, and I suppose it’s those same qualities which made me a good nurse. But I’m also fun-loving and like to joke around, oftentimes at my own expense.

Sometimes, you have to let go, joke around, and get a little crazy.  Other medical people will tell you, when things get heavy all you want to do is scream or cry at the pain and heartache you’ve had to witness, it helps to lighten the mood.

Yeah, sometimes the humor is dark, and given the circumstances, how could it not be so?  I spent some time away from my home, recently.  I had some eye-opening experiences while I was away which saddened me.  I needed to come to terms with how I looked at a person I loved as well as what type of role I now play in their life.  I wasn’t sure I was ready for the changes.

I needed something to lighten my days.  Snapchat became my way of goofing around as I stumbled through the unpleasant realities I faced.  I figured I’d share some of the photos of myself that made me smile and chuckle.

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Sometimes you just have to let go…and smile.

Blog, Kate Loves...

Small House Bliss — Discover

Frank and Mili’s Small House Bliss showcases the benefits and beauty of smaller, well-designed homes around the world.

As much as I love my circa 1855 Greek Revival home, I absolutely went gaga over this Norwegian coastal cottage with its uber-minimalist design.

via Small House Bliss — Discover

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The Strength of a Gentle Word

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Saying goodbye to someone is hard, and watching someone you care about telling a loved one goodbye is harder still.  In the past, I’ve cried my tears over love lost, friends left behind, and family members who have left this world.  Dealing with my pain is easier to bear than witnessing the people I love and care about suffering.

Who wouldn’t want to erase the sadness in the eyes of a sibling whose marriage has fallen apart?  Or mend the broken heart of your child when they are feeling the sting of rejection?  How best to comfort a childhood friend whose parent has fought against the ravages of illness and age, but lost the battle?

I’d gladly take on their suffering for them if only to see their smile again.  But I know I can’t.  I can only be present for them during this time.  Ready to offer a hug, get them a cup of tea or sit in quiet companionship as their tears wash the sorrows away.

I am not new to this vigil.  As a nurse, I’ve held the hands of dying patients and have spoken softly to them while I strived to make them comfortable in those last hours.  I’ve hugged family members seeking solace from another human being when their loved one has passed.  I am powerless to do anything in these circumstances except to give them the comfort of having someone there to bear witness and share in their grief.

Our power lies in our silent presence, in a caring touch and a gentle word for those who are suffering loss.  We gain strength from knowing we are not alone in our depth of feeling, and it is in understanding that what we are enduring is a necessary part of our collective human experience.  The statement — “I’m here for you if you need me” — is a proclamation of our shared humanity.

 

Blog, Kate Loves...

The Season of Lists

Old St. Nick has one, and so do I. His list deals with who is “Naughty” or “Nice”.  Mine is my own form of self-torture that I’ve honed over the years.  All of the “should-do’s” and “have-to-definitely-do’s” are on it.  Christmas decorating, baking, gift buying, and the dreaded Christmas card conundrum.

I love the whole experience of decorating for Christmas, and I’ve cut back on how much I’ve decorated over the years.  At one time, I had ten Christmas trees with different themes in various sizes throughout the interior and exterior of our home.  Now I am down to one medium-sized artificial tree and four miniature trees.  I used to have a minimum of one tree in each of the main rooms of the house, each bedroom and in the upstairs hall.  Now the trees are in the living room and on the front porch.

My SantaIMG_5491 collecting days are over, and I’m content to limit its total number to thirty Santas.  It’s not the largest Santa collection — I knew a woman who had over 1,000 Santas, but it is enough for my home.  I’m not one for a lot of outdoor lighting either (in the whole Clark Griswold of Christmas Vacation movie fame kind of illumination), but prefer a single candle in each window.

When my sons were little, we’d bake cut-out sugar cookies and gingerbread people decorating them with lots of colorful icing and sprinkles.  The mess in the kitchen was worth the fun.  Afterwards, I’d play some Christmas CD’s, we’d drink hot chocolate with plenty of mini marshmallows floating on top and decorate the largest tree together.

This year I’m almost finished with my Christmas gift list, having a few stocking stuffer items to purchase and a couple hard-to-buy-for people yet on my list.

So, what’s on the agenda now?  The dreaded Christmas card list.  Should I write a chatty newsletter to the people I know, make my own cards with my scrapbooking expertise or send off to a company for a photo greeting card?  Frankly, I did the fail-safe option and bought a couple boxes of old-fashioned Christmas cards.  Despite my card choice, the newsletter dilemma is still looming over me.

It is so easy to get caught up in all of the tasks and lists insteadimg_5352 of enjoying the finer moments this time of year offers to us–Christmas caroling, holiday parties, Secret Santas, watching the little ones as they sit on Santa’s lap or unwrap their gifts.  The wonderful Christmas stories and movies I enjoy year after year.  Eggnog! (It gets its own sentence, LOL!)  Midnight masses crowded with parishioners, the choir’s voices reverberating through the church, and participating in the sacred traditions with millions of people around the world.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday season.  Just try to remember the simple pleasures and try not to worry about the lists.

 

 

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Search for Kong

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I am the grandmother of a three year old yellow lab.  He is my baby, and I went to the farm with my son to bring him home with that little wiggly ball of puppy in my arms.  This pup has lived with us off and on during his short life.

He lives full-time in Milwaukee now, so we see him around the holidays.  He was with us this Thanksgiving weekend.  And his “Gma” got to take him on walks by the river, play ball with him and attempt to hold him on her lap (all 90 lbs of him).

And like many grandkids, when it’s time to go, a favorite toy is missing.  His Kong!!!  Oh, no!  The toy we stuff with frozen green beans and peanut butter is lost.  Of course, all of the adults are searching the house for the missing toy.  I’m down on my hands and knees searching under sofas and beds.  I tear the living room and library apart checking between the chair cushions and under throw pillows.  After a search of the backyard, it’s determined that the kong is lost and a saddened puppy and his human get into the car and drive across the state to home.

This morning, I started cleaning the guest room.  Guess what I found under the comforter on the bed?  Yup, a blue rubbery toy.  The search for Kong is over.

Blog, Kate Loves..., Kate's Causes

Small Town Holidays

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I love living in the tiny village along the Mississippi that I’ve called home for over twenty years!

I don’t miss the traffic, the noise and the lines found in larger cities.  I can walk through our streets without feeling threatened anytime day or night.  I get to soak up the beauty of my surroundings without driving anywhere.  In fact, I can walk from one end of the village to the other a couple times without tiring.

Thanksgiving weekend is a popular one here.  The population increases dramatically as all of the children and grandchildren return for the holidays.  Not only is it the start of deer hunting in the area, but there is an alumni basketball tournament at the school over the weekend.

My oldest son has played in it since he graduated, and it has been a tradition for over a decade.  The players reunite with their high school teammates to play against both younger and older teams.  Generations of family members come to cheer on the teams.  At halftime break of each game, the court overflows with children dribbling basketballs and shooting hoops until the teams return for the second half.

I sit in the stands greeting the mothers and fathers of my son’s team.  It’s a bit of deja vu from days past when our high schoolers ran up and down the court.  Our hair has more silver and our faces a few more lines now, but the enthusiasm and goodwill are still abundant.

In the evening, a Christmas parade with lighted floats, fire trucks, horses, music and Santa is followed by fireworks over the Mississippi River.  It is a fitting end to our weekend.

I saw a post the other day where someone wrote that they didn’t understand why Americans had a “day” of Thanksgiving.  The tradition is one of being thankful for the harvest, especially in the rural communities so dependent on a good harvest before the long winter.  It is also an acknowledgment of our country’s early beginnings, and how the generosity of the local Native American tribespeople helped the early settlers survive their first winter.

But, Thanksgiving is about more than remembering to give “Thanks” on one specific day.  For me, it is a time for gathering as a family and a community.  It is a time to realize the shared blessings of being a part of something so much larger than yourself.  It is a time to reinforce the importance of giving of my time, talents and resources to those less fortunate and to those I care about.

Our small town holiday weekend reminds me of what is good in the world and how crucial it is to be an active participant in the world around me.  To recognize and speak out against inequality and injustice while doing my best to be a positive force in the world.

This work doesn’t happen on just one day, but every day.  It all starts with you, your family and your community.  Make efforts to improve each of these areas and the blessings will continue to spread.

Blog, Books by Kate McGinn

A Mother’s Instinct

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I would die for my children to keep them safe, and I think most mothers feel the same way I do.  So when I was working on my current draft of Never Show Your Hand, I wanted to bring this protective mothering instinct to my character, Shanaya Cadotte.

Shanaya has returned to the Red Cliff Reservation to assist her Uncle Jeb with an accounting issue at the casino.  A forensic accountant who had worked for the CIA, Shanaya decided she wanted to raise her daughter near her family, so she relocated from Washington D.C. back to the Bayfield area.

But when she starts to investigate, the threats against her begin and her first priority is keeping her daughter safe.  That’s all I’ll tell you about the plot, so I don’t spoil anything.  Chapter Eleven of the story is complete and the first draft is nearing 16,000 words.

Question for my readers:  How would you keep your child from harm if you were threatened?  Would you send them out of town?  Or, would you keep them at your side?

Blog, Kate's Causes

#HelpPRchallenge

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It’s hard to believe it has been 52 days since Hurricane Maria made landfall on the island of Puerto Rico with Category 4 winds.  The hurricane was so large it covered the island leaving no area untouched by its destructive force.  Puerto Ricans are in survival mode and spend hours each day procuring basic needs like clean water and food.

I am donating the proceeds of Exodus (Clare Thibodeaux Series, Book 1) from October through November to help in the Hurricane Maria relief efforts, and I encourage my readers to consider helping by donating through the various charities and relief funds to help with our fellow citizens on the long road to recovery.  ~ Kate

Blog, One Million Project
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I like David Michael Williams frank blog about his experiences before and after cancer affected his family. I think we all can identify with the sentiments my fellow #OneMillionProject author writes about in his blog. Until we see personally how a disease affects others, it is difficult to develop a passionate response.

David Michael Williams’ blog

Blog, Kate's Causes

The Living Church at Work

I get inspired when I go to church on Sunday.  The readings, homily, music, and traditions speak to me.  I am a part of something much greater when I’m at Mass.  Anyone who believes the Church is just a building misses the real truth that the Church is its people.  It lives solely through them and their works on Earth.

This Sunday, we had a guest priest, Father Paul.  He grew up in the area of Wisconsin where I live, but he has spent most of his life in Tanzania, Africa.  His mission is to bring healthcare to the Nkololo, Tanzania people.  The Songambele Health Facility serves a community of 250,000 people, who wouldn’t have access to quality health care without its existence.

Father Paul told us that when they created the site plan for the Songambele Hospital their road to get there seemed like a trek up Kilimanjaro Mountain.  Each year, he returns to the United States to speak to parishes about the  Roads to Life Tanzania, Inc. and raise funds for their ongoing projects.

They have been able through the generosity of donations to build a Reproductive and Child Health Facility, a Clinical Testing Center, and a Chaplain’s Office.  Still under construction are an Imaging Pavilion (Xray, Ultrasound, etc.), Latrine,  and Mortuary.  The Clinical Testing Center has been chosen as a site for an HIV testing and treatment program by Dr’s with Africa.

Plans for 2017-2018 include an Intensive Care Unit, Administration Building, Private 30 bed Ward and the first phase of a Nursing School.

To find out more about Roads to Life Tanzania, Inc.  98% of all funds collected go directly to Songambele.

This is the living church in action.