If the past months have taught me anything, it’s the lesson that I shouldn’t overload myself with too much news and time on social media. So, I have limited my online presence lately, neglected all of my sites, and have limited my news to some morning programming with my first cup of coffee.

The rest of my day has been devoted to family, friends, my little doggos, reading for pleasure, and soul searching. Last year was full of excitement as my husband and I built our retirement home in the Arizona desert and stress related to a major surgery and rehab for me.

I thought 2020 would be the year I’d get back to normal, so I find the time to write regularly and finish the book I’ve been working on. Plans don’t always pan out. Who knew we’d be facing a pandemic and that half a million people (and counting) would die around the world. It touched my family in various ways with the loss of a family friend and extended family members.

My mom is in a care center and I haven’t been able to visit her since the end of February. I call her daily, but she is aging and I worry that I might not get to hug her or kiss her cheek again.

These are the things that bother me most — not wearing a mask or being able to shop or dine as we have in the past. It’s the loss of contact with people I love.

Books have been my escape and my social life while the characters have become my friends and foes. I discovered by reading the type of stories I love, my inner voice cleared its throat and began whispering bits and pieces of dialogue and plot points. The stresses of life had dulled that voice but it’s there, faint but growing stronger.

I’ve written a couple of times about my struggles with writing over the past year. I wondered if I’d ever write again. Where had my drive from years past disappeared to? Maybe I didn’t have anything creative left inside? I questioned whether it was a new environment that had thrown me. Or current events? Who isn’t feeling off kilter with what is happening?

Some people suggest that you should write each day even if its crap. Trust me, even when I’m motivated I write pages of copy in desperate need of editing help.

I am feeling more and more that it is a combination of things that had sucked my energy out. I was exhausted by the pace of my life. My time away from social media, the blog, and writing has started to recharge my creative battery.

When too much noise surrounds you, how can you hear the voice within? You can’t–or should I say–I can’t. Some writers are very focused on making money with their writing and pour a lot of time into promotion, social media and scheduled writing. I find if I put that kind of pressure on myself, I will focus on the wrong thing for me.

The story is the goal. Connecting with readers is the goal. If I apply myself to those two items perhaps the money will follow.

Being an Indie writer and self publishing is hard; especially, when you are working with a limited budget. Each writer has to find the path which is right for them so they may continue to stoke the creative fire within themselves.

For me, I needed a vacation. I needed to sit by the pool, drink an occasional margarita, play with my dogs, and to laugh and cry with my family.

The vacation is finally over.