The title of this blog is misleading in the sense that everyone deals with heartbreak in different ways.  In my blog post yesterday, I wrote about my protagonist, Clare Thibodeaux’s efforts to move on with her life after dealing with the anguish caused by her husband’s absence.  She used training for the Birkebeiner cross-country ski race to focus her energies and emotions.

I used work in the past to distract me, but retired from nursing now, I deal with my emotional distress by exercising and cleaning the house.  Unfortunately, when I feel overwhelmed by something in my life, I also suffer from writer’s block.  Not helpful when you are writing a book.

People will tell you, “Time heals all ills,” and I believe with time the pain of heartbreak is muted, but it doesn’t disappear.  The heartbreak and the way you deal with it are a part of who you become in the aftermath.  Some people will be wary of romance while others will throw themselves into relationship after relationship in an attempt to forget.

It is important to not let someone else’s choice define you.  Negativity about yourself will only bring issues into any future relationships.  It can result in self-destructive behaviors — substance abuse, overeating and other actions which only increase self-deprecation and depression.

I find if I can focus on the goals I have for my life and re-invest myself in the efforts to achieve them, I begin to take control of my future.  Don’t let heartbreak define who you are or who you will become.  Yes, it is a piece of your overall psyche, but it’s only a small part of the whole.

Find yourself, love yourself, allow yourself to grieve, and then, move on to the adventure that is your life.